SATIRE: This is parody. Not a real news report.
HARLINGEN — Days after Rio Grande Valley economic-development leaders publicly demanded a 765-kilovolt transmission line to power the region’s future, AEP Texas announced Tuesday it has heard the Valley “loud and clear” and will respond next week with two open houses about rebuilding the 138-kilovolt line the Valley already has.
The presentations run 5 to 7 p.m. Wednesday at Texas Southmost College’s Jacob Brown Auditorium in Brownsville and Thursday in the San Benito ISD Veterans Memorial Academy cafeteria, where residents can view renderings of towers 85 to 100 feet tall, spaced 400 to 600 feet apart, along a 100-foot right-of-way — figures AEP described as “extremely close to the numbers you asked for, if you round down and then keep rounding.”
“The Valley said seven-six-five. We heard one-three-eight,” said Ruthie Barrera, an AEP external affairs manager. “In a cafeteria, the acoustics are honestly terrible.”
“We keep telling them demand down here is a giant snowball, bigger and faster every quarter,” said Renata Cavazos, a Valley EDC official who requested anonymity because she is hoarse. “Which, in this heat, is our way of saying it is also on fire.”
The shouting began when Fluidstack chose a 1,100-acre site between Harlingen and Rio Hondo for a $4 billion first-phase data-center campus, a facility that will need enough electricity to simulate the entire atmosphere and which, under the current schedule, will be powered by a laminated photo of a lattice tower.
Officials Confident The Missing 627 Kilovolts Are Somewhere In The Easement
AEP representatives will walk attendees through all 44.5 miles of the rebuild, slide by slide, including a diagram showing exactly how wide the easement is — a number officials feel very confident about because it is one of only three numbers in the entire presentation.
ERCOT and the PUC’s $32.99 billion 765-kV plan does contain extra-high voltage, but routes it to load centers in Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, and Corpus Christi, where the line stops, coils politely, and faces south. AEP noted that Corpus Christi is “in the same state as the Valley” and that the Valley should feel free to visit the electricity anytime.
Valley leaders briefly proposed an extension cord. AEP countered with a second slideshow, this one in color.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Will there be any 765 kilovolts at the open house?
A: No, but the full 138 will be represented, along with punch and a complimentary pencil.
Q: My business currently runs on prayer and three diesel generators. Is that sustainable?
A: Officials say yes, through approximately Thursday at 7 p.m., after which the screens go up and the projector belongs to the bingo league.
