City satire desk
Mission
Home of the fake grapefruit and parody news.
Is the citrus real? Deliciously. Is our grapefruit cartel? Pure fiction.
SATIRE / PARODY — not real news
Citrus royalty, snowbird lore, and pulp-free parody
Mission, Texas: where the citrus is sweet, the history is wild, and our parody news is completely pulp-free.
We invent exploits of Texas Citrus Fiesta royalty, fabricated underground tunnels beneath historic downtown, and a completely made-up civil war between snowbirds and Winter Texans. Even the citrus gets involved: we invent grapefruit-chilled data centers and Fiesta royalty cutting ribbons for buildings that store nothing but vibes.
FAQ
Questions we pretend people ask
- Is the Citrus Fiesta actually run by a rogue grapefruit cartel?No, it’s run by nice volunteers. Our articles are just jokes.
- Are the snowbirds really armed with golf clubs?Only on the green. Our stories about RV rebellions are pure satire.
- Is Mission cooling data centers with grapefruit juice?Absolutely not. That is pulp fiction in the literal, satirical sense.
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