Welcome to RGV Local News. Let’s get this out of the way before the Hidalgo County District Attorney gets any ideas: This is a satire and parody website. We are not a legitimate news organization. We are a digital funhouse mirror reflecting the beautiful, chaotic, sweaty reality of the Rio Grande Valley.

Every single article, news brief, quote, weather report, and opinion piece published on this website is entirely fictional. The people we quote in our articles do not exist, and if they happen to share a name with your tío, it is purely a coincidence. The events described have never happened. The quotes were never spoken. Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead, or stuck in traffic on Expressway 83 is completely coincidental, though probably well-deserved.

Our cartoon depictions of public figures are exaggerated caricatures meant for comedic commentary, not journalistic documentation. If you are a local politician, a city manager, or the person who designed the McAllen 10th Street intersection, please know that we love you, but you make it too easy.

If you read an article on this site and feel the urge to share it on Facebook with a caption like, “CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!” — please take a deep breath, drink some chamomile tea, and read this disclaimer again. It is not real. It is a joke.

We are not affiliated with any actual news outlets, television stations, or local newspapers. We are just here to laugh at the unique madness of living in deep South Texas.

If you are a lawyer, please lighten up. If you are a reader who wants to yell at us, send hate mail to the fictional desk that offended you.

Contact: wayne@jwaynelowry.com