Please read
Satire Disclaimer
Read this before you screenshot us into a group chat.
Is this a real newsroom? No. Are the jokes intentional? Yes.
Legal-ish laughter
Everything here is fake — including the data centers.
Welcome to RGV Local News. Let’s get this out of the way before the Hidalgo County District Attorney gets any ideas: This is a satire and parody website. We are not a legitimate news organization. We are a digital funhouse mirror reflecting the beautiful, chaotic, sweaty reality of the Rio Grande Valley.
Every single article, news brief, quote, weather report, and opinion piece published on this website is entirely fictional. The people we quote do not exist, and if they share a name with your tío, it is coincidence. The events never happened. The quotes were never spoken. Any resemblance to actual persons — living, dead, or stuck on Expressway 83 — is coincidental, though probably well-deserved.
That includes our data-center bits. If we claim a warehouse full of servers is rewriting the Valley’s destiny, cooling the Gulf, or hosting your tía’s Facebook memories in a grapefruit orchard — it is satire. Real infrastructure debates deserve real reporting elsewhere; here they deserve a cartoon and a disclaimer.
Our cartoon depictions of public figures are exaggerated caricatures for comedic commentary, not journalism. If you are a local politician, a city manager, or the person who designed the McAllen 10th Street intersection: we love you, but you make it too easy.
If you feel the urge to share an article with “CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!” — breathe, drink some water, and read this page again. It is not real. It is a joke.
We are not affiliated with any actual news outlets, television stations, or local newspapers. Yell at Editor Wayne Lowry if you must: wayne@jwaynelowry.com.
City desks